There was one lady who was admitted for altered mental status due to what we believed was a side effect of her medications. She initially came in profoundly encephalopathic, but her mental status gradually improved after several days. Nonetheless, her speech was still fairly confused at times. There was one morning when I went in to round on her and asked how she was doing. "I want to go home," she replied. I nodded sympathetically and assured her that as soon as her delirium cleared up, we would send her home. "You don't understand," the patient continued, "You see, I have to get together with my husband, and we can't do it here." And by "do it," she was of course referring to the horizontal Macarena. Hey, at least she had the presence of mind to understand that doing the big nasty in a hospital bed was highly inappropriate. (Do you hear that, Dr. Izzie Stevens?!?! And people wonder why I get so riled up whenever I get asked if my life as a doctor is anything like how it's portrayed in Grey's Anatomy.) 

Then there was the elderly gentleman who we were evaluating for normal pressure hydrocephalus as a potential cause of his dementia. I saw him during my rounds and asked him my standard battery of questions to assess his mental function: "What's your name?" "Where are we right now?" "What's the date today?" "Who's the President?" In response to the last question, the patient stared at me with a confused look on his face. "Am I pregnant???" he asked incredulously. Clearly, he had some hearing deficits too.  And no, he most assuredly was NOT pregnant (though it certainly would have made for an interesting case write-up if he were!).